Saturday, 29 April 2017

Yearning










Every heart desires
Every heart has a special yearning.
Two individuals, whether together or alone,
yearn the most for what one's heart wants.

Meer had met Meera as he was yearning to find an anchor in his life. He wanted someone who could hold him through his difficult time. As time passed Meer realized he was his own anchor and what he yearned for most was external, materialistic pleasures. He wanted name, fame, money, glory, people talking about him, girls swooning over him and this was only going to satisfy him.

Meer was more confident about himself now. He had a face for the world to show and he knew what exactly he wanted as well.

Meer knew how to make the world work and he knew what he yearned for.


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Meera had met Meer and amidst a conversation she noticed him. He drew her to himself and it was then she realized she had more to yearn for in life yet. She had always dreamt about work and aspired to bring more glory.

After meeting Meer she yearned for love in her life and she was getting the same in leaps and bounds even after he left. As time passed she realized apart from love she even yearned for intellectual conversations, someone to care for her, someone around whom she felt protective, someone who listened to her heart and this yearning brought her closer to herself.

Meera knew what the world expects of her and she knew what she yearned for.

Friday, 28 April 2017

Xerox copy










Meera was in full bloom, she was the fun, fearless, wild and cool yet sensible and sensitive woman she always aspired to be. Eventually she had let go of her insecurities and anger. She was getting calmer by the day.

She did feel alone at times but had found ways out of it. She was working hard as well as started again at her hobby of sculpture making. She barely had any free time to think negative and feel sad. She was open to meeting new people and hangout without a care in the world.

She had decided to let the past be and cherish its memories and make new fun stories. But the more she tried to forget Meer the harder it was. Almost every guy that she had recently met was a xerox copy of Meer. Whether it was someone’s looks, or the way they walked or the kind of their talks something or the other did remind her of him.

Meera failed to understand whether it was her love for Meer or was it just that he was the only guy with whom she had been so close. Over time she had realized even she didn't want to marry him because he was never the man of her dreams but a part of her heart was ready to let all go just to be with him.

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Meer had been living out of his home for quite a many years now and he got used to living alone. Settling in a new city is always pain in the beginning but one has to endure some pain for a better ending. He had his share of highs and lows but he knew the anchor he used to search is none other but he himself.

He did meet a few girls, all good in their own way. He had made a pact for himself, he'll have his share of fun and let his mom search a bride for him. Just for once he met a xerox copy of Meera and he knew he is never going the same Lane again.  She didn't look like her nor she spoke like her, but her choice in books, movies even her zodiac sign were same and it was enough a warning sign for him to stay away.

Thursday, 27 April 2017

Winsome










Meera was happy. She had become bold and calm. She knew what her winsome smile can do, her harsh words would never get it done. She was her charming best and people were easily drawn to her now. She did miss being in a serious relationship but she was enjoying all the attention she was getting.

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Meer had a rough time. His ex, the one she carried in his heart from Pune to Bangalore ditched her again. It had been a month that he was in Bangalore when she asked him to introduce her to one his best friend. Meer having confidence in his friend asked him to out and about a few times and see if they have something or let it be. His friend did as Meer said but there were no sparks and they didn't continue.

Meer had already predicted this and so was relieved. All throughout he and his ex were in contact and now again she found solace in him after the not worked relationship. Meer did realize that he was running behind the wrong train and it's time to change track but probably he was too in love with this girl to let go. He was there for her with his shoulder to cry on.

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Meera did miss Meer but now he reminded him of what she should do and how she should live. She was livelier than before. She wanted to share her stories with Meer and she called him.

Meer did start to hear her stories and she spoke with all the charm and enthusiasm. But Meer cut her in mid and after that Meera just lost her winsome smile. She listened to him about his routine and then quickly hung up.

She realized Meer was totally not interested in her. He never cared what she liked, how she felt, he was not happy in her happiness. All the sweet talks had been for a purpose and now when he had no purpose all he wanted to talk about was himself or not talk at all. The stories that Meera had accumulated to tell him, the constant reminder that she use to have from him to be winsome and win all and her happiness on being winsome and getting what she wanted, was all lost...he didn't care.

Whether he thought less about Meera or thought it was a lie Meera was not sure. But she was sure he was not worth her worry anymore. She did consider him everything but for him she was nothing special.

She regained her composure and went on a long drive.  This time she is not going to go to “their place” as she did before and relapse into the cold hearted girl she was. She was driving way beyond and not going to look back. She'll stride in style with her winsome smile.

Wednesday, 26 April 2017

Vulnerable










It had been about a month that Meer had gone to Bangalore. Meera was yet again heartbroken today. She was vulnerable to every possible comment now a days. She decided to put on her strong, determined, rude girl grab and secluded herself from social engagements.

She engrossed herself in work again and constantly reminded herself of her goal and not to loose focus. Still she had sleepless nights. But the nights were not just sleepless they were accompanied with her soundless wails and cries.

She felt sad about being single, she felt sad about having no friend to cry on, she felt sad about everything going around, she felt miserable as she couldn't see a future for herself. She was vulnerable but strong enough not to let this make her depressed and go on a wrong path and end everything. She had her family to support and ending her life won't help them.

Meer and Meera had a unique relationship. They had distance between them, they spoke less frequently yet they knew what the other wanted. Meer used to tell her about his ex and his relationships and she knew sometimes it was to make her jealous but at others how's just being himself with her.

He was a self-made man and constantly learning and improving himself and this was what he taught her as well. He had shifted to Bangalore but recently he called and shared all the happenings with her. She wanted to call him more often but he did say once that she is getting possessive and he may stop speaking to her if she will irritate him more.

On some vulnerable points Meera did message him.. Miss you… and he replied…. I know.

Meera was taken aback because she expected some reprise but all she got was a narcissistic reply. She knew when Meer used to have a good time, he was never cautious with her but when he was sad he'll cajole her, pamper her. Part of Meera’s vulnerability was her own responsibility. She did let herself loose and gave so much importance to him.

She had to take these teachings and work on herself, for self. Just one message brought her back to senses. She had entirely forgotten what she had decided when Meer left. She had forgotten the game she would like to play. So, here she became the pleasant, charming personality she aspired for. She was now open to people and people were attracted to her.

She was going out and almost wherever she went she knew all eyes seemed her. There were man approaching her and at times she will lead them on for as long as she wanted and then gently or at times rudely break it off. She knew she had to shun the vulnerability and enjoy what life offers. More so, she wanted to have stories to tell Meer, it was not just him who had it all.

Tuesday, 25 April 2017

Unique Relationship










Meer had settled in Bangalore. The first 15 days in the city and the city was treating him good. He found a good studio apartment on 4th floor of a commercial building. It was amidst city and the window at one end gave him the view of entire bustling city….his perfect fast paced cosmopolitan city.

He was getting used to the new office and the environment. He hadn't made any friends yet but had been amicable and so never was alone. He stood by the window with a tea cup and contemplated on his journey so far. He was happy on his achievements. His family had high hopes from him and he was able to realize them.

He was also able to do what he really wanted to do. He always wanted to be a ladies man and today he was. Before leaving the city he met his ex over dinner and they bonded really well. He even carried her along, in his heart. They were back to their usual selves and almost talked every night for hours. They were not “together “ yet but they will soon.

Another girl from his previous office had also shown interest and now they were in long-distance-relationship and he knew well how to manage both the girls without letting one know about the other.

Then he remembered Meera. He was in love with her. She was beautiful, delicate, a soft kind heart, intelligent, actually she was nothing like the other girls and that drew him to her. Overtime Meer had realized that they are not meant to be together not because she was getting attached to him but because now he didn't want to stay bounded or attached with just one person. He knew, she cared for him a lot but he knew there were too many fishes in the pond.

He did care for her as well. He informed her as soon as he got news of his selection in the new job. Their relationship was actually very unique. There was a time they used to talk to each other everyday. Then there came a time the calls turned to twice a week, still it used to be as if they just spoke an hour ago.

She never pretended a thing in front of him and he too could speak his heart out to her. He never hid any of his feelings from her whether they were about her or someone else. Infact he had just spoken to her once after he came here and told her about his ex and the other girl.

She never complained of talking less or talking about others. Yes, she did get jealous if talked more about others but he knew how to make it up to her, and she will blush till the end. He could tease her and make her cry. He could make her forget the world with his smile. She was jovial like a child when with him and had an air that demanded attention wherever she went. No wonder all used to like her. There was something, something unique in this relationship and he didn't want to let it go.

For some reasons he always loved living this unique relationship. He used to get what he wanted and he still can get what he wants from her. He didn't love her now but neither he nor she ever said “I love you” to the other. He never said because the feeling had long gone but never understood why she never said it.

He had to stay in touch with her for both professional and personal reasons. She was owning a good company and working hard to scale new heights and personally, he knew, if all went down, he can always rely on her.

Monday, 24 April 2017

The Therapeutic Teachings









Meer was enjoying his new job. The new city, new life, new environment.  He was more ecstatic as while moving to Bangalore from Pune he had gained immense confidence. The reason for his confidence was Meera. He had liked Meera instantly, maybe because he was charmed by her aura or because at that point of time he knew he needed an anchor.
He was dejected and he needed someone or something to pull him up or atleast not let him sink. Meera came as a breath of fresh air and brought some new flowers too. The flowers he'll always cherish. He got more confident, he knew what he wanted, he also knew how to get what he wanted especially from girls.


The smart, work oriented, independent Meera that he had liked was deep down a girl - silly, possessive and easily manipulated. But if that's what that is he was okay with having his share of fun.


His times with Meera were therapeutic and calmed him down more. He got a better idea about women and now knew how to apply those teachings to the life ahead. Life in today's world is fast and people run away from emotions but want instant gratification, be it spiritual or sexual. Meer was set to get both now on.


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Meera was heartbroken. After years she had open her heart for a man, despite him being nothing she ever yearned and he had also gone. She already knew he was looking for a new job and at max has 3 or so months but she never took it seriously because Meer never talked much about it.


What hurt her most was he just left her a message… I Am Going. When she called she got to know the details and after that they just spoke once more because it was her birthday. It was Meera’s first birthday after Meer and she got together. Meera expected a call in morning or a call to say let's meet but neither. He just called later in the evening and wished her, never met, still being in the same city.


Meera was emotional but this gave her a teaching she will never forget - Never trust anyone with your heart, nobody will ever handle it with care. Meer did leave many teachings for her about today's world and the people.


She knew people look only for themselves. They strive for what they want seldom thinking how the other must have felt. Nobody thinks of emotional attachment it is sheer give and take. It was as if emotions are a thing of past.

All this did make her change but she still believed in the fairytale love. She was now more confident about what men want and she was ready to make them dance as she liked. She was open to experiment and experience and explore the human kind. She found a therapeutic game of predicting the other's move. But what she learned and cherished was to Love herself and people loved her too, reasons can be any.

Saturday, 22 April 2017

Seven Hundred....and thirty four









“The aerial distance from Pune to Bangalore is 734 kms while the road distance is 844 by train it is 905 km. There is/are 20 direct trains”....read Google as Meera searched for the distance between Pune and Bangalore.

Meera and Meer had the best time of their lives. Meera didn't know about Meer but she had fallen hard for him. She loved him and as they say in love you don't see any wrong. She knew he didn't love her, as he often said he wanted an open relationship or having fun till it lasts. Meera and Meer had a passionate night together but after that Meera started to avoid Meer.

They did spoke a couple of times on phone and she either tried to avoid serious discussions or just got angry on something trivial and hung up. He did ask her to meet a couple of times but Meera refused giving one or the other excuse.

Their relationship had always been of no strings attached yet there for each other whenever needed. But somehow Meera wanted comfort, care which she tried to seek out of Meer but never got. The physical proximity could never take over the emotional proximity and Meer never really tried to get attached to her emotionally.

Meer always acting Mr.-know-it-all was all confident he knew what Meera is deep down. The more he got to know her and the more she did as he said, the more he started to undermine her. He started to ridicule her in jest, stopped appreciating her or complimenting her.

Meera got quiet about everything. She didn't liked the way Meer was behaving and she was too much in love to actually break all ties from him. She started maintaining her distance. Eventually there talks decreased yet their was no bitterness.

It was hard for Meera to not speak to him everyday but she resisted the temptation. For Meer it was ok because he laid the rules for an open relationship. He called her when he wanted and they will speak for sometime. He knew how to emotionally use her and he did. At times she used to get angry but he used to woo her with false sweet nothings and all will be normal. Besides he had his freedom from the usual… what's up?, did you had dinner?... rubbish.

Today Meer texted Meera...I am going.

No Hi no Hello just plane I am going. Meera was taken aback and asked him to elaborate. He told her, that he got a new job and is shifting to Banglore.

All throughout Meera was so lost in her life that she forgot that he was on his ninety days notice period. They used to talk about work and life in the initial days but it had stopped. Now she didn't know when he applied, when interviewed, she was actually not part of his life.

Meer was going away and maybe they will never meet ever again. Her heart just sank. She was shattered. They were never together but this was separation altogether for her. She avoided meeting him almost a month and now he is going away aerial distance 734 kms while the road distance is 844 and by train it is 905 km. Now she can't see him, she won't be able to control herself on seeing him go. She can't say goodbye to him in person.

They spoke on phone for hours, separation is hard. Meer had been very sweet with her today. He calmed her down, made her understand things he thought she should know and work upon for her future.

Meera’s world had once again crumbled. She was thoughtless and lifeless again. Only one thing was going on in her mind 734 kms…..seven hundred… seven hundred...seven hundred.